So What's New...?

It feels like forever since I created a journal entry..... sorry for not updating so much!

Things have been really hectic recently. And now it doesn't help that I seem to have a cold, which is so annoying but I'm glad to have some days off work to recover. At least working part-time kind of helps. But I've been really busy at work and it seems its not really helping that much. At the end of the day I just need to think about the money more than anything...

If there is one question that is annoying at the moment, its the "Are you ready for Christmas?" one. I'm not ready at all, and to be quite honest.... Its the last thing on my mind. I have a chance to go Christmas shopping this week, maybe on Wednesday if this cold goes away by then. However, I really am stuck as to what to buy people. I do have the money to buy presents this year. Its just that it is hard to buy presents for 3 guys. My brothers aren't really into similar things than me and my Father is always hard to buy for. I have some kind of idea as to what to buy my Mother this year, its just being able to buy her present when she isn't with me as we tend to go shopping together.

My drawing skills have managed to decrease a great deal. I just don't think I'm improving at all at the moment. I thought I was getting better and my [link] cheered me up a little as I thought I had finally gotten hold of my own style. HOWEVER.. I went to do a rough sketch [link] and failed miserably! I really hate the eye's... they just don't look right and I couldn't correct them no matter what I did. It was bad enough that I restarted that piece three times

I've even been neglecting my Japanese studies... well what I'm learning on my own. I've even tried to translate two new songs but that is very slowly progressing. I think that I've pushed it all to one side while I wait to hear that I didn't get a place on the JET Programme. I'm sure when I have more time off that I will get back into it all. As I really would love to be fluent in Japanese some time during my life.

Weeks Holiday

This holiday really has been weird.... I've popped into work too many times even on my Day's off. I guess I really a glutton for punishment. But at least it was for other things rather than actually working a shift. So I can't really complain.

Plus I was able to finally send off my JET application pack. I really hope that I did everything right. But I am glad to have sent it. Was really nervous at the time though. I would love to get an interview but I guess I just have to wait...

I Wish This Pain Would Go Away

Its been almost a month now since I found out I have an inflammatory infection within my chest wall between my lungs and my rib cage. So it can be painful to breathe sometimes as it hurts and I can even find it hard to breathe. At first I was told to take paracetamol and ibuprofen for two days. Yet, the week after I went back to the doctors and they said I had to go back on the painkillers until it clears. I have no idea how long it takes but last Tuesday I thought I would stop taking them and see how it goes. Yet after Church on Sunday, the pain came back and now I'm back on the pain killers.

Its really annoying as I always seem to be the one getting really ill in my family. No one else has had glandular fever or an inflammatory infection but me. Maybe I have a low immune system to illnesses such as these? I even had the flu last year where I slept for three day's. Things just seem to effect me badly and it can get depressing. On another note, things just seem to be at a stand still at the moment. With problems with references for the JET Programme and then with the situation regarding my house. It just feels like everything is happening at once. I'm sure its just to watch me struggle.

The only thing that has kept me sane recently is watching movies, which seems to be two every day so far for the past two weeks. Even though they are all Japanese movies, They are still really great to watch, well I enjoyed watching them at least. I'm sure there isn't really many people who would understand though.

I'm Still Alive!

I'm sorry everyone who has been wondering where I am... I'm sure not many have noticed that I've been quiet a lot recently. I've been busy with work and also I have been doing a lot of work at my own house. Its getting close to the painting stage and then it just needs some flooring and I can move in!!! I bought my house last year, and its been slow but I really can't wait till its done.

Now to prove I'm still drawing, I'm working a large Dual Screen Katekyo Hitman Reborn! fan art piece. Its of Vongola Guardians and Simon Guardians. I've been working on it slowly for the past two weeks, so please keep an eye out for it once its uploaded and tell me what you think!!!

ふたり by 松下優也 Translation

Track: ふたり
Artist: 松下優也
Released: 2010

Japanese	English
ねぇ 君のことは 誰より そう わかっているつもりでいた その心が 離れるわけないんだって 思ってた さよならと告げるように 君は つなぐ手をゆっくり ほどいていった	My dear, who was likely to know Why you intended to Leave this heart without any thought Telling you such a Goodbye As slowly these connected hands began to unwind
君だけを 想ってるのに くるしいのに 言えないまま 今 ふたりは この想いを 静かに 抱きしめてる そっと	Only you Only feeling this agonizing pain Nothing left to say Now two people This feeling, silently, I'll embrace Quietly
もう 傷つけても 傷ついても そのすべてを 離せなくて 無理に笑う その笑顔も 切ないほど いとしい	Don't say anything at all I'll force a smile and a laugh It's so painful dear You gave me happiness At the end at least But what in return
幸せをくれた君に せめて 最後くらい 何かを返したいのに	You gave me happiness At the end at least But what in return
悲しみを 隠せるほど 大人じゃない 強くもない 押さえきれず 溢れる想い 涙にすり替わってく そっと	Just hide the sadness Adults are not strong Holding onto their feelings Gently replacing the tears
どうして 別れが答えなんだろう どうして 絆は途切れてしまうの 失う痛みに 心が負けてしまいそうだよ 今も君を...	How can I understand when I don't know the answer Why would you cut off our bonds I've lost my heart to pain I knew I would lose you still...
こんなにも 想ってるのに くるしいのに 言えないまま また ふたりが	Well this Only feelings this agonizing pain Nothing let to say. Now two people I pray will meet somewhere
会えることを どこかで祈るよ 悲しみを 隠せるほど 大人じゃない 強くもない 押さえきれず 溢れる想い 涙にすり替わってく	Just hide the sadness Adults are not strong Holding onto their feelings Gently replacing the tears

Now this song is really sad. When I broke up with my boyfriend, This song was about how I felt in some ways. It even made me cry sometimes when I was singing along to it.

欲望に満ちた青年団 by ONE OK ROCK Translation

Track: 欲望に満ちた青年団
Artist: ONE OK ROCK
Released: 2007

Japanese	English
一度はあの光を見たんだよ　とてもキレイで でも今思えば汚かった　あれはいわゆるBad Day Dreams 光が眩し過ぎて周りが見えず　ただただ日々を 棒に振ってたあの日　今だから笑えるよ一度はあの幕を開けたんだよ　とても重くて プレッシャー、イヤ味それに勝つために　ただ嫌なヤツで そして気が付くと真っ暗な部屋に一人ぼっちだった 終わった…。もう戻れない…。なんて…。歩くのも止めた…。	Once I saw a very beautiful light! But now if I think about it, it was dirty, that so called BAD DAY DREAMS Light was dazzling that all around was visible Only only those bright days The bar did shake that day but now I can laughOnce I opened that curtain, was very heavy PRESSURE, the disgusting taste you get in order to win just an awful guy And when I noticed, I was in a pitch dark room alone I'm Finished.... Unable to return.... what.... I've even stopped walking
でもI'm not alone. I'm not alone We're not, We're not, We're not alone お金じゃ買えないもの手に入れて	But I'm not alone. I'm not alone We're not alone, we're not, we're not alone Money can't buy what is put in my hands
もう一度光浴びて　そして今度は騙されぬように 僕らは今目指すよ　欲望に満ちた青年団 誰かが言った言葉　それすらその時は流して 今になって気付いたよ　欲望に負けた少年団	Once again bathed in the light and now I won't be fooled We are aiming now Young adults full of desires Someone said the words that even now wash away Now I've noticed young adults succumbed to desires
So, I know you know? You know I know? We have, We have, We have grown 捕らわれないようにと上向いて歩く	So I know you know? You know I know? We have, we have, we have grown No more restrictions so I can get up and walk
もう一度光浴びて　そして今度は騙されぬように 僕らは今目指すよ　欲望に満ちた青年団 誰かが言った言葉　それすらその時は流して 今になって気付いたよ　欲望に負けた少年団	Once again bathed in the light and now I won't be fooled We are aiming now Young adults full of desires Someone said the words that even now wash away Now I've noticed Young adults succumbed to desires

Signal by KAT-TUN Translation

Track: Signal
Artist: KAT-TUN
Released: 2006

Japanese	English
Hey girl　教えて　どんな夢見て 一人ぼっち　夜明け待ったの? Hey boy　人ごみに 隠れてもしょーがない ありふれた常識　この街じゃ非常識	Hey Girl tell me what kind of dream you saw Alone, awaiting the dawn? Hey Boy in the crowd There is no hiding In this town that's lacking common sense
Take it easy now What’s goin’ on　切り替えて What’s goin’ on　乗り越えて I’m movin’ on いつもそうしてんじゃない Take it easy now What’s goin’ on　チカチカと Just movin’ on　消えそうな 情熱は　それぞれの胸に	Take it easy now What's goin' on make changes What's goin' on get over it I'm movin' on Isn’t it what we always do? Take it easy now What's goin' on its irritating Just movin' on like this Passion is lost in each heart
癒されちゃ　もの足りない… 頑張るだけじゃ　救われない… きまじめ過ぎても 望む場所に立てない… 瞬間を永遠に　心で切り取って 恐れずにトラブルに ダイブしてみろ Life goes on !	It's not enough to be healed... Struggling alone won't save us... Even if you hope You can't stand where you wish... Cut that moment out of your mind forever Without fear of troubles dare to DIVE Life goes on!
Take it easy now What’s goin’ on　切り替えて What’s goin’ on　乗り越えて I’m movin’ on いつもそうしてんじゃない Take it easy now What’s goin’ on　チカチカと Just movin’ on　消えそうな 情熱は　それぞれの胸に	Take it easy now What's goin' on make changes What's goin' on get over it I'm movin' on Isn’t it what we always do? Take it easy now What's goin' on its irritating Just movin' on like this Passion is lost in each heart
Take it easy now What’s goin’ on　しなやかに What’s goin’ on　したたかに I’m movin’ on みんな生きてるんじゃない Take it easy now What’s goin’ on　わがままに Just movin’ on　危うげに 俺たちは　今日も生きてるんじゃない	Take it easy now What's goin' on gracefully What's goin' on soundly I'm movin' on Isn't it how we live? Take it easy now What's goin' on selfishly Just movin' on dangerously Isn't it how we're living today?
My girl　ここへ　おいで ほら　Yeah Your heart　決して　ひとりじゃない 話してごらん	My girl come here hey yeah Your heart is never alone Talk to me
飛び交う電波　鳴り止まぬ電話 どこもかしこも一度見たMember 行き場もなくて　『独り』怖くて 沈めてく自分　喧騒の中に 目的もなくたむろするEveryday だけど何も見付からぬAny day 心配すんじゃねぇ We are all the same お前らみんな秘めたPossibility	Flying around the airwaves phone keeps ringing Everywhere, a once seen Member Without a place to go fear of being "Alone" Sure to sink myself in the commotion Aimless hanging around Everday But not finding anything Any day Don't worry You all hold the Possibility
Take it easy now What’s goin’ on　切り替えて What’s goin’ on　乗り越えて I’m movin’ on いつもそうしてんじゃない Take it easy now What’s goin’ on　チカチカと Just movin’ on　消えそうな 情熱は　それぞれの胸に	Take it easy now What's goin' on make changes What's goin' on get over it I'm movin' on Isn’t it what we always do? Take it easy now What's goin' on its irritating Just movin' on like this Passion is lost in each heart
Take it easy now What’s goin’ on　しなやかに What’s goin’ on　したたかに I’m movin’ on みんな生きてるんじゃない	Take it easy now What's goin' on gracefully What's goin' on soundly I'm movin' on Isn't it how we live?
Take it easy now What’s goin’ on　わがままに Just movin’ on　危うげに 俺たちは　今日も生きてるんじゃない	Take it easy now What's goin' on selfishly Just movin' on dangerously Isn't it how we're living today?