Quitting is all I do

well I have been realizing that my life has always had difficulties. I suppose I didn't really give it much thought as I've had many other things to think about. maybe that is just my thing.

"Someone who always does something else when things get though"

I always know when I am about to fail so I don't feel like there is a point to carrying on with what I was doing. It might sound like a really stupid thing to do, but this is me, I don't do things right sometimes. Its just things this week, have not really been the best they could be. I've been having a lot on my mind and never really sorted them out right.

Anyway, most of the things that have been on my mind, are yet again about self reflection. I've been talking to Eddie about it and I admit, its still bugging me a little. I suppose its like a fault with myself that I hate but don't really know if I can change it or even try to change it. Its like no matter what I to do to change it, it still doesn't work. I always hit a dead end and that is where I stay.

I've always wondered around aimlessly in hope that something comes along and helps change things. Finally when Eddie came into my life it changed. But it only changed most of the things. The things that didn't change are always there to haunt me. I can't get rid of them no matter how hard I try. I don't know what really to do with myself when those small things take over and leave me even more stranded then I was before.

Yeah I can deal with some things but there is only so much I can take because I complete crack, and its happened before so there is nothing stopping it from happening again. I've always seemed to fall apart on occasion and the more it happens, the more I can't prevent it from happening because I've run out of options. Things just always have a way of getting to me and making me feel like shit all the time.