Hate it!

I starting to really hate things at the moment. I thought I was unsure where I belonged before I got a job in Japan. Now its even worse, I Hate it!

Most people are telling me "Do what you think is right" or "Do whatever makes you happy"... Getting a job in Japan is a dream. To be able to help children learn more about English culture is something I never thought I would be able to do. But what about my home in the UK? Can I really call it the place I call "home"? I am feeling a little lost and confused about it all.

My father asked me when I thought it was best to put my car up on a local e-bay type site. Now to me, my car is a precious thing that I don't want to loose. I bought it will all my own money and worked hard to get it. If there was a way to import it back to Japan, then I would definitely do it. But selling it just doesn't seem right. I know I plan to stay in Japan for a year or more but does that really mean I have to sell it?

I've also had my Brother tell me that I should sell everything I own to get the money to use in Japan. But wouldn't that mean loosing every reason I have to come back? Do people really not want me to come back after a year?? Am I really that loved??? I know it might seem that I am really twisting people's words, but its what I am feeling at the moment.

Maybe I should really sell everything I have here in England. My computer, my car, my personal belongings, and maybe even my house, which I probably won't ever get to live in. I thought having things here would make me feel like I will always a place to come back to. A place that is familiar. Was I really just imagining it all?

Its probably for the best. I have always thought that going to Japan would mean a new start and a new life. Where I can meet new people and other people who love Anime, Manga, J-Rock, J-Pop and even K-Pop like I do. I get to go to Karaoke bars and have a laugh with my new co-workers while still trying to keep up with social hierarchy.