I'm sure we have all had one of those dream's where you wake up and wonder where on earth that came from? Like "why did I dream about that?" or "is that what I want to happen now?". Its the kind of dream that you least expected. Then, for the next few nights, you have dreams similar to that first one. That's when you start to wonder what it is they are trying to tell you.
Recently I've been having a certain theme pop-up in my dreams. Its that of me being a mother. Its kind of freaking me out a little. I know I'm 23 and I'm getting younger. But then the logical part of me reminds me that although I'm in a stable relationship. Its not marriage and I don't have the right financial support to even think about making a family.
Oh I should also say, Solking does know about these dream's. So this will not shock him at all.
With the first two or three dream's I had a daughter and then two night's about I had a son. Its to wake up and realise I am far from being a mother so why am I am dreaming about being one. Even though, most of my old school friends have children. I guess I feel a little left out but then again I don't. I feel like the smart one for waiting till I'm fully ready to have a child.
Its scary enough to think that there is going to someday be a little Sazzy running around the place calling me "mummy". I've been told I will make a great mother but that one scares me. It only seems to build up a big expectation of reality.
The Closest I've gotten to acting a like a parent in some way, is when I was babysitting my future nephew's in NY. Solking and I were left to look after the youngest children out of five. So we had to deal with the dirty nappies and crying.
Yet there is a part of me thinking that I could be a mother. I might not be that good but we learn from experience right? Its just I don't want to get pregnant as soon as possible. I would rather wait a few years till Solking and I are fully settled with married life.
