Well the wedding has begun its planning stage

Well after finally getting round to talking about our wedding, it feels more kind of set in stone almost. Except the part where my fiance wants to offically ask for my Dad's approval and properally propose. Otherwise, we are most of the way there. Its strange to think i would be here planning. I know when most girls are young, they plan their own wedding, which is something I never did because I always thought I would be alone and I loved being a child too much to think about adult stuff.

So after talking with my fiance, its put my mind into excitement mode. I know who my maid of honour is, and I have an idea of my bridesmaids. So that part was delt with a while ago, its just down to asking them really.

[23:34:04] Sazzy: ok right I was thinking.. for our wedding, would you mind if I served people behind the bar :P
[23:35:28] SolKing2: if you want
[23:36:05] Sazzy: well what you to do at our wedding??
[23:36:20] Sazzy: I know you want use to light saber duel down the aisle
[23:36:39] SolKing2: well I was kidding about that
[23:36:55] Sazzy: awwwww ok well what then?
[23:37:02] Sazzy: I don't want a wedding all about me...
[23:37:59] SolKing2: we could use the lightsabers during the dancing
[23:38:20] Sazzy: ok
[23:38:31] Sazzy: what else?
[23:38:52] Sazzy: what colours should we use?
[23:38:53] SolKing2: idk
[23:39:13] SolKing2: I'm not good at these things
[23:39:15] Sazzy: you want to have dark grey suites
[23:39:23] Sazzy: with red?
[23:39:57] SolKing2: how about black and red
[23:40:23] SolKing2: the suit is black and shirt is black but the tie is red
[23:40:45] Sazzy: ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
[23:41:37] Sazzy: what do you think the bridesmaids should wear?
[23:41:54] Sazzy: crimson red is used a lot
[23:42:00] Sazzy: so just bright red?
[23:42:20] Sazzy: with white flowers.. then i have a white dress with red flowers
[23:42:32] SolKing2: thats kool
[23:43:13] Sazzy: ok
[23:45:05] Sazzy: do we have a paige boy and girl?
[23:45:58] Sazzy: or flower girl.. what ever you call them
[23:46:41] SolKing2: well they aren't that necessary
[23:46:55] SolKing2: the bestman holds the rings also
[23:46:59] Sazzy: yeah I just wondered....
[23:47:15] Sazzy: at my aunties wedding.. Andy and I were paige girl and boy
[23:47:28] SolKing2: aww
[23:47:29] Sazzy: we sang " Make me a channel of your peace" during the servise
[23:47:33] SolKing2: little weewah
[23:47:39] Sazzy: service*
[23:48:04] Sazzy: I dunno if you know that hymn
[23:48:11] SolKing2: idk
[23:48:31] SolKing2: well if we can't get anyone for those positions then don't worry
[23:48:54] Sazzy: yeah. I do have cousins with children.. but I dunno
[23:49:05] SolKing2: that can wait
[23:49:08] Sazzy: ok
[23:49:24] Sazzy: shall we use red and white to decorate the church?
[23:49:32] SolKing2: sure
[23:49:39] SolKing2: do you have a church picked out?
[23:49:47] Sazzy: with a black rose in the middle..
[23:49:58] SolKing2: black rose means death
[23:50:10] Sazzy: ooooooo cool
[23:50:15] Sazzy: death to the bride :P
[23:50:18] Sazzy: but anyway..
[23:50:33] SolKing2: aww
[23:50:49] Sazzy: my church is undergoing some reconstruction and should be done by september.. but I dunno about that.
[23:51:35] SolKing2: ok
[23:52:02] Sazzy: or there is another church that is near a town center but I will show you when you get here and you can pick
[23:53:42] SolKing2: ok baby
[23:56:55] Sazzy: ohh one thing... do we want two people give little sermons?
[23:58:01] SolKing2: how about just one so we don't fall asleep
[23:58:22] Sazzy: well I was going to limit them to 8 minutes each
[23:58:23] Sazzy: :P
[23:58:37] Sazzy: but one is ok... save the rest till the speaches right
[23:58:46] SolKing2: well if we have people from my family they throw chairs if you preach to them
[23:59:06] Sazzy: ohhh ok
[23:59:34] SolKing2: yea half my family are christians and the other half fight the christians
[23:59:51] SolKing2: like Manny
[23:59:59] Sazzy: so who will say the sermon?
[00:00:09] Sazzy: or speaj
[00:00:13] Sazzy: speak*
[00:00:32] SolKing2: I don't know but my parents might not go depending on what happens
[00:01:18] Sazzy: will they accept it if i pay for a ticket?
[00:02:12] SolKing2: maybe
[00:02:16] Sazzy: or pay towards them coming
[00:02:27] Sazzy: I can't have your parents missing your wedding
[00:02:51] SolKing2: yea
[00:05:04] Sazzy: ok
[00:05:34] Sazzy: ok do you want a traditional service?
[00:07:26] SolKing2: I guess
[00:08:33] Sazzy: or we can sort out our own order of service..
[00:09:54] SolKing2: whichever i dot mindn'
[00:10:06] Sazzy: I will stop asking questions now
[00:10:17] SolKing2: keep going
[00:10:26] Sazzy: ok...
[00:10:47] Sazzy: would you be ok with having a jazz band play at the reception?
[00:10:57] Sazzy: Simon is in a Jazz band.
[00:11:22] SolKing2: only if they don't sound lame
[00:11:40] Sazzy: well you will hear them rehearse as they rehearse here at home
[00:12:35] Sazzy: I was just thinking about costs of getting a band.. :P
[00:14:19] SolKing2: yea that can be expensive
[00:15:01] Sazzy: what shall be played for our first dance?
[00:15:08] Sazzy: if you want to have a first dance
[00:17:09] SolKing2: hmmmm
[00:18:45] Sazzy: its hard right? or is it just me
[00:19:34] SolKing2: its hard
[00:19:54] Sazzy: I don't want a corny song
[00:22:02] SolKing2: me neither
[00:23:03] Sazzy: we can decide that when you get here I suppose.
[00:23:17] Sazzy: so we can hear a few together etc
[00:24:18] SolKing2: yea
[00:24:44] Sazzy: we can decide invites later too.
[00:24:52] Sazzy: once we get the church sorted..
[00:25:19] Sazzy: and the place for the reception
[00:26:19] SolKing2: yea we have to know how many people can we fit in there
[00:27:28] Sazzy: yeah but really we have to give your family enough notice so they can get time off work and book flights etc.
[00:30:17] SolKing2: yea I know thats why I'll tell everyone the next time I see them
[00:30:28] Sazzy: ok
[00:30:40] Sazzy: so are we aiming for a June wedding?
[00:31:02] SolKing2: yea that gives us 6 months to save and get ready
[00:31:10] Sazzy: ok cool

Really, we still have the big things to sort out, but its better to sort them out together properly then breifly now.

Regrets

Now I am not I am not in any place to sit here and tpye

"I do have regrets on decisions I made, because looking back they just didn't work out"

Because really, I can't change them. I cannot go back into my hazy past and change anything. What happened, happened. Thats life and there is nothing I can do about it. There maybe things in my life that I want to change, but that is just being human. I am sure that many people have wanted to change their past and create a new one. However, the fact is, if we did, who would we really become? We all have decisions to make and to other people, it may not be the right choice, but does that really show who we really are or would it only show how other people inflict theirself on you?

Dictating another person's actions is really controlling others to be like you. If that happens then does the world really need another copy? Should there really be more replicars in the world? The world can't be full of similar people, if it was, then how could other people survive if there no one different and experience different things. We all need to have our individuality not be a copy of another person.

If your reading this, your probably thinking "oh well, just what the world needs.. a crazy person" or what have you. But really think about it. Really look into human society and see how although we are all different, the world seems to work better than to just clones of someone. I've been thinking about it recently and to be completely honest, I would hate to see someone who is a replicar of me. I would end up killing it because I can't stand seeing someone go throught the exact same thing as me, and live my life as their own life. I would hate to have someone go through my life and repeat my mistakes. I know I can't really stop someone from doing so but I can at least try to prevent it happening the same way right?

I am greatful I went through all the crap I did go through. As if I didn't go through it, then I wouldn't be who I am today. I've talked to my boyfriend about this and he says the same thing. Life gives us obstacles to overcome. If we didn't go through what we went through then we wouldn't be as strong as we are today. We all have to get through some thing tough in ourlives. But its life, deal with it. We get a chance to experience life so do what you want to do, react how you want to react and so say things you want to say. You can't go back and change anything, so don't bother trying to do so. It will only make matters worse, and ruin the life you have as it will make more regrets. Life is precious no matter who you are, so do what you want, not what someone else wants you to do.