I'm Alive!!

Oh yes, I am still very much alive. Well at least I hope I am. Otherwise I'm sure thing are still going on fine without me. I've been so busy with my new Job that its very much a big part of my life at the moment. I'm working to help pay back my parents. And they are being supportive at the moment. I can't wait till I can fully repay them. But I still have to see if I am able to get more contracted hours at work first before I can be really happy. As 14 hours a week just isn't going to help much. Might pay back the mortgage, but that isn't including all the bills I am going to have to pay. But I am really enjoying myself. So I really can't complain. Everyone is so nice to not only the customers but other partners (its a working partnership company ^__^ ). So thats probably why everyone gets on and tries to do the work to the best of their abilities. Although there is some who still need to get used to things. But it will be easier come January, when we don't have to worry about the Christmas rush. oooooohhhhhhhhhh I got my first real Commission!! I'm so excited but nervous at the same time. I have a fellow partner at work who has giving me some photo's which he would like to be digitally re-do for him. He has very generously given me £30 to draw the image and is willing to pay for a photo frame on top of that too. OMG! I'm so nervous about doing it really well so he doesn't regret paying me to do it for him :XD: I really hope it doesn't result in a complete and utter disaster! I will be trying my best, I just hope I don't over do it! Its strange actually being paid for some thing that I wouldn't normally get someone to pay me to do. On here, DA, I'm used to just getting requests and not being paid to do it. I guess it really does make a bigger impact on how you go about things. I've started the piece but thats only the basic skin layer first. But I hope I can complete it before Christmas. Get the frame. And print it off at such a good quality that its worth £30. Maybe its just being really nervous about doing this project... My colleague did say, that I could make a living out of doing it. But being an artist, I am my worst critic and I don't think I'm at such a level where my work is worthy to be paid for. But I can't say that to a customer. I don't want them to lack faith in me. Thats just bad business XD Otherwise, sorry to those who usually read my KHR chapter journal entries, I have been reading but I'm working so much (did 45 hours at work last week :XD:) that I don't even have enough to catch up with the anime and manga that I'm following. I feel so behind on everything. I don't really know what to do with my spare time that I do have.

Its Sure Been a While

Well there has been a lot of things for me to deal with recently. And its finally caught up with me after so long of having been pushed aside. There has been a lot of personal problems along with some financial obstacles. But with one only being true to oneself, pushing things to one side and trying to avoid dealing with it has proven to finally come to a standstill. I've only been able to bury my head in drawing pictures and now its time to stop. If I could draw pictures for a living, then that would be great. But I lack confidence to sell any work that I do.

I've been looking for some kind of work. However, it seems that no one really wants to hire me. I guess my CV/resume must be really bad. Maybe looking for an office job was a bad choice. I should just do something I have experience in, which is either dancing or working at a restaurant. Not really much choice. But it seems that is no one who can really help me decide. I've become pathetic in my oldish age.

Once a loner, always a loner right?

Thats what it feels like at the moment. I know isolating myself in my own bedroom is really not helping but I fail to feel the need to do anything else when others don't seem to understand me that well. I'm not an open book that everyone gets. I'm strange in more ways than one.

When my World Ends

Enclosed deep inside,
With no where else to go.
Bound by my own self doubt,
Unable to be set free.

No one standing along side,
Only this constant emptiness and shadow.
Constant tears become a drought,
My soul now bare for all to see.

All I can do is crawl and hide,
Nothing is all that I can do.
But to rebel from what's been taught,
They are all lies which you told me.

Don't come looking for me in the tide,
Where I am you cannot go.
For I've been swallowed in painful doubt,
So when my world finally ends,
Don't come looking for me!

Well just so you all know, The telephone interview went well yesterday. They said that they are passing on my details and the notes from the interview. Soooooooo......... fingers crossed that I get a face-to-face interview.

Also, I'm currently working through all the requests that people have made. So far I've only done two but I'm getting there slowly!!

• Requests


• janners: Trade OC - http://fav.me/d2nfew0


• hatekillslovethrills: OC - http://fav.me/d2nrxql


• darkness-love: OC - Yet To Do


• SaruwatariKazuko: OC's - Yet To Do


• KerriganMoonwolf: OC - Yet To Do


• toraburu: Roy Mustang - Yet To Do

If you still want to make a request, then please feel free ^__^

Nerves Starting to Build

Last Friday, I actually applied for a job... Shock Shock Horror Horror!

http://www.talenttracker.co.uk/santander/jobs/sys/vac/detail.asp?id=107590

I filled in the online application form last Friday and I got an email on Monday saying that I have been accepted into having a telephone interview. First of all... OMG I have an interview! Second... OMG they replied! Well, I rang the recruitment number, and I have my telephone interview tomorrow (Wednesday 14th April) at 9am.

I've never worked in a bank before, but I'm a fast learner so it won't be so bad. From what they told me on the phone, if I am accepted for the job, I will have 4 weeks of full time training Monday to Friday, and then I will be working part-time hours afterwards, working on Saturday's if needed. To me that sounds like a pretty cool job. I would finally get some stable working hours. Plus the income is better than at my previous work where I was a waitress and bartender. How I managed to stay in that place for over a year I do not know. But a bank job would be better than that, thats for sure.

So wish me luck for tomorrow!!!

Turning of Age

Oh yes people! Sazzy is getting older!

On 18th March this little old me is turning 24. I know I look about 17 but trust me... I'm not. Although it is good for going to the cinema and getting a Student ticket..hehe

I don't really know how to celebrate my Birthday. My mother did take to see Alice in Wonderland today. And I LOVED it!! Depp was Awesome!

Barajou no Kiss

Well because I've been working a lot on my Kaede Higa Fan art...

I took the plunge and made a Rose Knights fan club on Deviant Art.. go check out my profile!

Nothing like a good shoujo manga with nights that obey one girls command. I mean who wouldn't want to put themselves in Anise's shoes and have fun with these four guys who answer to your beck and call or they will have the pleasure of feeling the roughness of the thorns that leashes them to you.

I'm sure some would agree that chapter 12 was the best! I mean I loved that chapter so much, I made a fan art of Kaede with his naked chest showing *nose bleed*

So please join the group and treat yourself every once in a while with this wonderful, smexy males, manga

Thats ANNOYING!

I don't think I've ever been annoyed with something that involves my art work in my whole life.

*takes a deep breath*

Well I joined the Kimi ni Todoke society group on facebook a while back (I can't remember when). Because I'm a total fan of Shouta Kazehaya who is this really shy bashful kind of teenager, which you should all by now because of my last entry hehehe. Well I was recently looking through all the photo's in the group and I went to fan girl mode as soon as I saw the Japanese page raws of chapters yet to come. But as I looked even further I noticed something that looked really really familiar

[img]http://th01.deviantart.net/fs71/300W/i/2010/045/2/2/Is_it_called_Ripping__by_Awkward_Sazzy.jpg[/img]

Now I know I'm not that smart. But to upload someone's image and kind of take credit for it is the dumbest thing right? I mean its ripping someone else's work, right? I can prove its my signature as I have the PSD file saved to my computer and I can show you how I made it and will be exactly the same.

So I'm just annoyed that someone would even do that to someone's work. I know that there are people who do it out there.. but when you notice its your work, its a different story.

Artistic... for once

Well I've actually done a fair bit of work today.... maybe not going to sleep last night really did mean something good. Not only did I finish a new image which a friend asked for.. but a Tutorial to go with it. BONUS!!

Although what would really make my day is for new chapters of some of the mange's I'm follow would be uploaded to some sites. Especially new Kimi ni Todoke. I've read chapter 35 and I want MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRREEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! I went really fan girly when Kazehaya confessed.. But then I felt so sorry for him. Silly Sawako!! I would Date Kazehaya if he wasn't a 2D character.


So ummmmmm............... yeah...............


I'm so bored... yet again....... surprise surprise!

Design Design Design

Designing my web site yet again!

This time I'm going to the portfolio and compact idea. I've only managed to code most of two pages. Its just I need to sort out the footer and then finish off designing the other pages. I don't how long it will take but I'm hoping to work on it slowly. Making sure the design is constant.

http://www.sazy-bu.co.uk/Aboutme.php
The only pages that have been altered so far is the blog and this page. But I've been having problems with my wordpress so I'm currently upgrading. All the others are in the previous skin.

Wordpress really is confusion to code. I managed to find one that is similar to my design to help get some coding idea's.
http://equilibrium.madebyon.com/

Is Patience a Virtue?

Its the middle of the week and I'm already loosing my patience waiting for new manga chapters to be released!!

http://myanimelist.net/mangalist/Bu-Chan

^^^ Just looking at that list and I already want to read new chapters of KHR(should be out this Friday), Papillon, Kimi ni Todoke, Barajou no Kiss, S.L.H. and Dengeki Daisy!! But sometimes I have to wait ages.. grrrrrrr

Ok so I like to read shoujo manga.. but its all interesting stuff. I mean coughexcellenteyecandycough :w00t:

Blahhhhhhhhhhh I'm so bored!!!

Somebody please TALK TO ME.... or just poke me... the slightest hing of activity would be great!