Well I'm going to try and do a better painting in photoshop this time. Working on an old photograph I've found. So I won't upset anyone if I disfigure the person really badly. The only problem I've found at the moment, is that the battery in my pen for my tablet is running out. The cursor keeps jumping around and its really annoying me. I've tried like 6 different batteries and they are all doing the same thing. I guess I'm just not allowed to draw.
So please keep a watch on my scrapbook upload's, as the steps of the image will most likely be placed in there.
With my website, the planned update will have to take a back seat for a while. I need to study for two exams and that is going to take priority at the moment. Well once I work out why I can't view things well in IE on opera. For some strange reason, the study info isn't showing up and its rather confusing.
Friday, September 04, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Experiments
It seems that I've been able to get back into working in photoshop rather well. But thats because Photoshop Magazines seem to be helping. The ones I get really do help me a lot when it comes to idea's. I really would like to be able to design really cool interactive web sites when I'm happy when it comes to coding the site. Its just a little difficult when your trying to learn PHP and MySQL at the same time as CGI Perl, Visual InterDev6. I just wish I was able to hold information better. But I'm writing down as many notes as I can before my hand goes numb.
For those who are wondering how my designs are going, Please visit my gallery or my DeviantArt Page ^__^ I've yet to update my website at the moment as I've designed in a way that takes a little longer that it did previously.
For those who are wondering how my designs are going, Please visit my gallery or my DeviantArt Page ^__^ I've yet to update my website at the moment as I've designed in a way that takes a little longer that it did previously.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Perplexing Instances
Perplexing Instances
Recently, I’ve been so bewildered by strange conversations with friend’s. I’ve never been able to hold many intense conversations about anything. Yet, it seems that some random conversations still have the tendency to alter into analytical, profound and insightful discussions. Yet when they do alter, it catches me off guard and surprisingly, it’s morphed into talking about my troubles. I don’t mind talking about myself, only on rare occasions. But when it does come to talking about me, paranoia emerges and I wonder what other’s true intentions are. Of course, I do not, by no mean’s, mean it to be offensive. Its just I have a very cautious nature that can sometimes get in the way when I deal with people whom I do not know.
When it comes to making entries such as this, then it isn’t too much of a problem, due to the fact that not many people will read it and that’s fine by me. A blog entry is meant to inform the reader more about the writer and display some mannerisms and characteristics. Otherwise, how else is an online persona going to be created? Of course there are different levels of an online persona, to which I don’t want to go into but hopefully the context has been put across. I will say that there isn’t any difference between my online persona and the ‘me’ in real life. I don’t really see the point of pretending to be someone your not. I wouldn’t do it in real life, so why should I do so online? It might be easier to hide behind a monitor and take a role of someone who is the opposite of who you truly are. But where is the point? Is it really right to seek acceptance that way?
Reverting back to the topic of the entry of perplexing instances, I found myself in a situation on IRC (Internet Relay Chat) where I had three of my friends there supporting me through about something that I was shocked to see we were talking about. It was about my abase nature and its something I don’t talk much about because everyone who talks to me about it fails to see why I am abase. Instead they focus on telling me what I should be doing. But that just gets stretched as I’ve told many people before about past situations and then about time’s where I have tried to gain more confidence but failed.
Recently, I’ve been so bewildered by strange conversations with friend’s. I’ve never been able to hold many intense conversations about anything. Yet, it seems that some random conversations still have the tendency to alter into analytical, profound and insightful discussions. Yet when they do alter, it catches me off guard and surprisingly, it’s morphed into talking about my troubles. I don’t mind talking about myself, only on rare occasions. But when it does come to talking about me, paranoia emerges and I wonder what other’s true intentions are. Of course, I do not, by no mean’s, mean it to be offensive. Its just I have a very cautious nature that can sometimes get in the way when I deal with people whom I do not know.
When it comes to making entries such as this, then it isn’t too much of a problem, due to the fact that not many people will read it and that’s fine by me. A blog entry is meant to inform the reader more about the writer and display some mannerisms and characteristics. Otherwise, how else is an online persona going to be created? Of course there are different levels of an online persona, to which I don’t want to go into but hopefully the context has been put across. I will say that there isn’t any difference between my online persona and the ‘me’ in real life. I don’t really see the point of pretending to be someone your not. I wouldn’t do it in real life, so why should I do so online? It might be easier to hide behind a monitor and take a role of someone who is the opposite of who you truly are. But where is the point? Is it really right to seek acceptance that way?
Reverting back to the topic of the entry of perplexing instances, I found myself in a situation on IRC (Internet Relay Chat) where I had three of my friends there supporting me through about something that I was shocked to see we were talking about. It was about my abase nature and its something I don’t talk much about because everyone who talks to me about it fails to see why I am abase. Instead they focus on telling me what I should be doing. But that just gets stretched as I’ve told many people before about past situations and then about time’s where I have tried to gain more confidence but failed.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Twitter Mad
Well I've been wondering what Twitter is like so I've decided to actually set up an account to try it.
[link]
Please feel free to add me, I will try to update it as often as I can.
[link]
Please feel free to add me, I will try to update it as often as I can.
Monday, June 08, 2009
Eye Opening Dreams
I'm sure we have all had one of those dream's where you wake up and wonder where on earth that came from? Like "why did I dream about that?" or "is that what I want to happen now?". Its the kind of dream that you least expected. Then, for the next few nights, you have dreams similar to that first one. That's when you start to wonder what it is they are trying to tell you.
Recently I've been having a certain theme pop-up in my dreams. Its that of me being a mother. Its kind of freaking me out a little. I know I'm 23 and I'm getting younger. But then the logical part of me reminds me that although I'm in a stable relationship. Its not marriage and I don't have the right financial support to even think about making a family.
Oh I should also say, Solking does know about these dream's. So this will not shock him at all.
With the first two or three dream's I had a daughter and then two night's about I had a son. Its to wake up and realise I am far from being a mother so why am I am dreaming about being one. Even though, most of my old school friends have children. I guess I feel a little left out but then again I don't. I feel like the smart one for waiting till I'm fully ready to have a child.
Its scary enough to think that there is going to someday be a little Sazzy running around the place calling me "mummy". I've been told I will make a great mother but that one scares me. It only seems to build up a big expectation of reality.
The Closest I've gotten to acting a like a parent in some way, is when I was babysitting my future nephew's in NY. Solking and I were left to look after the youngest children out of five. So we had to deal with the dirty nappies and crying.
Yet there is a part of me thinking that I could be a mother. I might not be that good but we learn from experience right? Its just I don't want to get pregnant as soon as possible. I would rather wait a few years till Solking and I are fully settled with married life.
Recently I've been having a certain theme pop-up in my dreams. Its that of me being a mother. Its kind of freaking me out a little. I know I'm 23 and I'm getting younger. But then the logical part of me reminds me that although I'm in a stable relationship. Its not marriage and I don't have the right financial support to even think about making a family.
Oh I should also say, Solking does know about these dream's. So this will not shock him at all.
With the first two or three dream's I had a daughter and then two night's about I had a son. Its to wake up and realise I am far from being a mother so why am I am dreaming about being one. Even though, most of my old school friends have children. I guess I feel a little left out but then again I don't. I feel like the smart one for waiting till I'm fully ready to have a child.
Its scary enough to think that there is going to someday be a little Sazzy running around the place calling me "mummy". I've been told I will make a great mother but that one scares me. It only seems to build up a big expectation of reality.
The Closest I've gotten to acting a like a parent in some way, is when I was babysitting my future nephew's in NY. Solking and I were left to look after the youngest children out of five. So we had to deal with the dirty nappies and crying.
Yet there is a part of me thinking that I could be a mother. I might not be that good but we learn from experience right? Its just I don't want to get pregnant as soon as possible. I would rather wait a few years till Solking and I are fully settled with married life.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
News Update
I had been meaning to add a new entry, but it seems I never find the motivation to do so. So here I am, typing away.
I managed to figure out how to make a CSS gallery, and I am pleased to say, that it is finished unless I create new pieces, in which case I will be uploading them for all to see. The only other addition to the site, that I can think will help, is a guestbook. But I am not entirely sure if it will be a good thing to add. Due to the fact that I have this blog and I think I can get a plug-in to add a guest book to here. So please comment on if you think I should add one or not.
Otherwise, I have been able to get a 2 month extension to my course work. Seeing I only have 5 more topics to cover and that should be more than enough time to finish them. I’ve even gone as far as to make up a study timetable so I don’t spend so much time just doing one topic. I know it might be a little strange to do, but it really does help me a lot and thats the main thing. The only two long topics are PHP and CIW security but I am hoping to get them done quickly. I don’t want my parents to waste their money on something I never got around to finishing.
As far as my GFX skills go, I am kind of improving especially since I’ve become more serious in GFX and trying to get my skills up to a high level. I think at the moment, its more around intermediate level. So I must be getting there. If you haven’t noticed, I have even started to create wallpapers now. Some might not be as good as others. But I am really getting to photomontage type images. Its just the rendering of some of the images that takes a while. But I am really please with how they have turned out so far.
Which reminds me, I have also added a new section to the gallery, which is tutorials. I started making them ages ago. Seeing as this site is an online portfolio, I thought it would be wise to upload them to here. Some are better at explaining for those who are beginners but then the most recent is less explained to act more as a guide on how things where done rather than a instruction as I’ve seen in most signatures.
So please have a look around the site, and comment back ^_^
I managed to figure out how to make a CSS gallery, and I am pleased to say, that it is finished unless I create new pieces, in which case I will be uploading them for all to see. The only other addition to the site, that I can think will help, is a guestbook. But I am not entirely sure if it will be a good thing to add. Due to the fact that I have this blog and I think I can get a plug-in to add a guest book to here. So please comment on if you think I should add one or not.
Otherwise, I have been able to get a 2 month extension to my course work. Seeing I only have 5 more topics to cover and that should be more than enough time to finish them. I’ve even gone as far as to make up a study timetable so I don’t spend so much time just doing one topic. I know it might be a little strange to do, but it really does help me a lot and thats the main thing. The only two long topics are PHP and CIW security but I am hoping to get them done quickly. I don’t want my parents to waste their money on something I never got around to finishing.
As far as my GFX skills go, I am kind of improving especially since I’ve become more serious in GFX and trying to get my skills up to a high level. I think at the moment, its more around intermediate level. So I must be getting there. If you haven’t noticed, I have even started to create wallpapers now. Some might not be as good as others. But I am really getting to photomontage type images. Its just the rendering of some of the images that takes a while. But I am really please with how they have turned out so far.
Which reminds me, I have also added a new section to the gallery, which is tutorials. I started making them ages ago. Seeing as this site is an online portfolio, I thought it would be wise to upload them to here. Some are better at explaining for those who are beginners but then the most recent is less explained to act more as a guide on how things where done rather than a instruction as I’ve seen in most signatures.
So please have a look around the site, and comment back ^_^
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